In the spirit of self deprecating humor, I bring you my latest work in progress; a multipart account of my adventures in selling (or trying to) on Etsy!! Rest assured, this is my own personal therapy through laughter approach, not meant to actually advise anyone on anything. For actual advice on how to fail spectacularly, try Google.
Unsuccessful Strategy 1: Spend a Massive Amount of Time “Tweaking”
That means everything. The shop, the blog, the nemesis I like to call “the business card”. Open a new shop, close the first shop, switch blog servers, hosts, whatever. Rewrite all your policies, shipping profiles, announcements. Around a month in, list one to three items. Tweak those continuously until the photos have been rotated, removed, and uploaded a minimum of six times. Rewrite the descriptions until they more closely resemble the Great American Novel, then delete and take the minimalist, Hemingway approach (ITEM: “You know everything. That’s the trouble. You know you do.”*). Notice still that nothing has sold. Turn to blogging. Blog more than you make art. Turn blogging into your art. Problem here? Well, blogs are free. Blog about everything, make less art, then whine to your blog about it, and above all, do not make a sale!
While you are tweaking in the electronic world, work on those business cards. See previous post for further explanation. Needless to say, I cannot face the evil business card right now.
When you are fed up with tweaking against a backlit screen, tweak your workspace. This is really fun, actually, and I try to do it at least twice a year. Rearrange the office/studio. Move furniture. Maximize lighting. Minimize lighting. Restock supplies. Reorganize supplies. Buy lots and lots of storage in varying shapes, sizes, and forms. Take out every supply you own, reorganize and re-file into new containers. Replace reference materials and/or add to and alphabetize existing reference materials and books. Remove, rearrange, and replace decorations. Hang shelves. In short, create your own perfect workspace… again.
While you’re at it, might as well tweak the house! Now technically, this has nothing to do with art and Etsy and selling and what not, however, I find that I cannot get anything done with a messy, unorganized house hanging over my head. If I get it cleaned up, I can get down to work, in theory. The problem is, the two children and the husband make quite the mess, so not only am I exhausted by the time I am done with the house, when I wake up in the morning I am faced with a mess equal to or greater than the one conquered the day before. Does this prevent me from trying? Absolutely not!! Fear me, Dirt! I wield the sword of the Gator Mop!
Stay tuned for Adventures in Promotions!
*Quote from In Our Time, Ernest Hemingway, “The End of Something” said by Nick