Frustration

The small details add up.

Spring has finally arrived in Cincinnati.  Those April showers you hear about?  This year, torrential nonstop buckets of rain.  Every time I leave my house to go to work, it rains.  Every time I leave work, either on break or to go home, it rains.  I feel like Eeyore, with my own personal little rain cloud following me around.  Oh, and it gets worse!  Cincinnati is on the Ohio River, as well as the Great (or Little?) Miami, and every road I turn down, especially when I am trying to get to work, and trying to be on time, seems to be flooded, or I am stuck in traffic because all the other ways to get anywhere are flooded so the entire population of Cincinnati (at least my side of town) has to use the road that my house is on to get to work!  Did I mention I’m burning four dollar per gallon gas while sitting in all this traffic?

I am slightly annoyed.

Another small detail:  I have a several designs in my head.  The chain mail weaves I plan to use to make these visions a reality require certain jump rings.  The rings I have will not work for these designs, so I spend a lot of time perusing the pages of my two favorite suppliers, C & T Designs and Blue Buddha Boutique, trying to determine what I need.  However, since I am sitting in traffic, burning that four dollar a gallon gas, I cannot stock up on the rings I need.  I am the diabetic kid locked in the candy store, the recovering alcoholic gazing at the beautiful bottles behind the bar.  I am an artist lacking the proper tools.  And because I am unable test out the designs right now, I feel paralyzed whenever I sit down to create anything. 

Paralysis is bad, very very bad.

And then, of course, there’s the shop.  Nothing is moving.  Items are loved, but no one is buying.  I have been featured in several treasuries, and still, no one is buying.  However, if I wear one of my pieces, it will be bought off my wrist, or someone will order the same bracelet with different colors.  I offer discounts, have sales, donate pieces for auction, I’m even captain of a local team, and yet, no one is buying.  Do I want to dominate the world and be some huge corporation?  Absolutely not!  I just  want to keep on creating and have enough money to invest in supplies so that I don’t get paralyzed.  I don’t even have any desire to quit my day job, is breaking even really too much to ask? 

I am almost out of coffee at home…

And Starbucks stopped making my favorite drink, the Ristretto Bianco, because apparently the pitcher essential to the creation of the beverage has been recalled for safety reasons…

No one in my house seems to know where the clothes hamper is…

And my darling Mr Fix It husband has torn apart his new, beautiful car to install some fancy gadgets and speakers, so the interior, tools, and gadgety stuff is strewn about my house; I am too afraid to clean it up in case something vital gets lost…

My kids keep finding the Easter candy, which I keep hiding, and bounce around hopped up on sugar…

I’m not getting anything productive done and its stressing me out, which leads me to stress more and pace and still not get anything productive done…

I keep trying to get up early enough to run so that I’ll feel less stressed and more balanced, but I don’t seem to be able to hear the alarm clock before 6:15, and I have to be out the door by 6:10 if I am going to get to work on time…

And my husband works too late for me to go for a run in the evening…

So I am updating my blog!  Now, off to iron pants and fold laundry…